Why I walked away from research

A month ago, Mantle Magazine published another article of mine: The travels and trails of a marine biologist in the Philippines. AKA Why I gave up on being a researcher, it was originally titled “Wanted: Perfect Scientist” but yay for editors fixing it.

All in all, this was a very difficult article to write and something a long time coming. Writing was difficult because it forced me to organize my thoughts and put into words the jumbled mess of emotions that came with putting aside a childhood dream. How do you reconcile working so hard for so many years and then giving it up?
Me during happier times

Sometimes, things don’t work out the way you want them to. Sometimes due to things you can control, sometimes due to things you can’t.

Sometimes, you find another path. Sometimes the new path works, sometimes it doesn’t. Then you have to go find a new path.

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“Last December” by Gabriel Lynch

[bandcamp track=788995010 bgcol=FFFFFF linkcol=4285BB size=venti]

I know nothing about this guy except that he’s an independent musician on an Asian tour that includes the Philippines. He played at Conspiracy, 70’s Bistro, and The Bar at 1951 in Malate. After hearing this song, I can say that he’s a brilliant independent musician.

Despite what I post, it’s not always happy in paradise. At present, I’m stuck between a master’s degree that I don’t have the drive to finish but have to somehow because I don’t have the money to pay the funding agency’s fine for not finishing (all the money DOST ever gave me + 12% interest) and a job that I genuinely love but want more out of. There are the good days and then there are the bad ones. Lately, it seems like the bad days are overwhelming the good ones. Then I remember that I have friends and loved ones who love me and care for me and will be there for me despite the distance.

Describe a picture perfect day to me
Tell me all about the beauty in the things you’d see
Recount your favourite moments from the past
Leave nothing out and save the sweetest bits until last
And try to remember all the detail
And find new meaning in a joke even though the punchline failed

Well the future’s so demanding
And it’s hard enough today
Every month feels like December while we wait and try to find another way

So while we reminisce about the times that it all when wrong
We’ll keep on looking for a sign
We’ll pause while you recollect your thoughts
While you find the place that your story got cut short
And I will sit in silence while you do
Then I’ll describe a picture perfect day to you

But we’re strong now more than ever and there’s nothing they can say
And we’ll make it like December, just you wait
We’re going to find another way

A night on the (El Nido) town

Mavic and I got to stay out in El Nido town last night with some friends from UP MSI. YAHOOO!!! Thank you to Ate Mags, Fleur, Kuya Mel, and Renmar for letting us crash with them last night (hey, I did help somewhat in making the cages :D). It was a great night filled with food, friends, and alcohol. I crashed earlier than everybody else because I had to wake up at 5:15am to catch the 6am boat back to Miniloc. It was exhausting but so worth it.

Dinner at Aplaya Bar and Restaurant. Ordered grilled squid. The food was yummy (of course! The restaurant is owned by former MIR F&B Supervisor Bong Meridor) but took FOREVER to arrive. We ended up eating Ken's "birthday cake" while waiting because we were so freaking hungry.
Moved over to Sea Slugs for drinks. Their chilled margaritas are kickass. That there is our second pitcher and I drank 1.5-2 glasses of the stuff. Whoo! Reg's student (who happens to be the daughter of Sea Slugs' owner) was celebrating her birthday that night and sent spaghetti, pancit, and pizza over to our table. Wow! I felt unworthy since I didn't know the birthday girl but I will never turn down a Sea Slugs pizza.

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A prayer for grad students

I freaking LOVE Jorge Cham. His grad school humor is just so spot on, all the time. I guess this means that the cultures of institutions of higher learning are fundamentally the same the world over.

And yes, I’m working on my thesis right now (just sneaked off to blog a bit *sheepish*).